I'm Tired of Being Tired

Hello, my name is Ken, and welcome to my blog. Allow me to introduce myself. I am an over-50 sales person. I live in a small city in Upstate New York. And, I am not happy with the trend that my life is taking. 

Me now ~250lbs

Let me explain. In high school, I was a three-sport athlete who got above-average grades. I transitioned into playing football at a Division III college for a couple of years before partying and not being injured all the time became more of a priority. I have participated in different sports on and off since college, including all kinds of cycling (mountain, road, and gravel), and running (mostly road). I have had the (less than) fantastic idea that I might want to give tennis a try and actually tried golf for a couple of years when I worked at a golf course. With my athletic ambitions, my weight waxed and waned. At one point, I was down as low as 195 pounds, and I have gotten up to as high as 250 pounds, which is where I am now. 

I get that you slow down as you age, both physically and metabolically. I definitely shouldn’t be able to do the things that I was able to do in my twenties. Physically, that’s just not possible, especially since I haven’t kept up with my conditioning. It’s not really about that though. I know, at least I think I know, that I can do things that are hard for people to do. I may not get back to a 300-pound bench press that I had in my twenties, but I shouldn’t have to settle for a 38” waist and days off spent doom-scrolling either. 

Me 3 years ago ~200lbs

As recently as three years ago, I weighed around 205 pounds and was training for and completed a marathon. Don’t get me wrong, I was REALLY slow, over five hours, but I did finish. After the marathon, I kind of lost interest in all things athletic. I just couldn’t bring myself to run, bike, hike, walk, or work out… I was in a state of lethargy. I tried to run a New Year’s Day 5K and could not bring myself to run 3 miles. This despite running 26 miles three months earlier. I was struggling.

I tried all kinds of activities: running, biking, hiking, weight lifting, skiing, CrossFit, and rucking. Of those, the only two that had moderate success were CrossFit and rucking. I built a gym in my garage and subscribed to LinchPin, which was fantastic, but I've recently moved and no longer have a garage to work out in, so all of my equipment just wallows in a storage unit. I’ve joined a gym (not CrossFit) and struggled to show up regularly.   

It’s not just the athletics and physical activity though. I don’t engage in much social interaction other than work. That not much could really be called none. I don’t do the things that I feel like normal people do. I know that I’m older, and older people have a hard time making friends, but I don’t even try. There are events that are close by (now), and I don’t ever attend them. 

The worst part about all of this is that I now have the time to be active and social, and I still don’t take the time. I live forty minutes closer to work. So I have a 10-minute commute instead of a 50-minute drive. Everything is closer; grocery shopping is 10 minutes away instead of 20. The one exception is laundry, because before I had a washer and dryer in my house, now I have to go to a laundromat. But even that’s a little disingenuous, because I can do all of my laundry at once now, instead of having to switch my loads multiple times a day. 

My diet is also a mess. I constantly crave the things that should be "once in a while" snacks. My favorite meal is a Snickers bar with an M&M dessert. Alcohol has once again become an almost daily vice. I went for a string of almost three years with no alcohol. I know deep down that the nights that I don't have anything to drink I sleep MUCH better, but there is just something that drives me to pick up a six pack on the way home from work and unwind with a couple before bed. 

Another thing that I’ve struggled with is creativity. This isn't anything new though, I have aspired to be and failed to become a content creator several times. Over the years, I have really struggled with what to do with this space. I have had some, what I thought were pretty good ideas at the time, and been gung-ho to start, and then for whatever reason, the idea died on the vine. Sometimes life got in the way, sometimes the idea wasn’t really that great, and sometimes it was a lack of enthusiasm by the creator (me) that squashed the idea. I have thought of an adventure/travel blog/vlog, I have toyed with the idea of a fitness influencer (so to speak), and decided that I was just going to use this space to document my life. And predictably, one after the other, all of the ideas fizzled and died.

So what am I going to do differently this time? My plan, because nobody accomplishes anything without a plan, is to utilize this space for making myself a better person. How am I going to do that, you ask? I am going to use this channel and others to help keep me accountable. I am also going to use this channel to convey the things and skills that I learn that help me to beat procrastination and lethargy. I will share my journey starting today, Day 1. 

My plan is to share at least once a week in the form of a post. Some of the things that I have planned to share are daily activities, adventures that I take part in, and advice and tricks that I pick up along the way. I want to look into the science of lack of motivation and procrastination. I want to use this blog to keep me accountable to myself and accountable to my audience. I want to share some of the experiences that I finally am going to take as a result of my findings and as a result of my implementation. 

If everything works out I will not only be more fit, but also more social and more knowledgable about my own body. I hope, if anything that I’ve said resonates with you, you’ll join me on this trip and help me be more social. Like, subscribe, comment, and share. And I hope to see you in the next one.